I think it finally hit me this week how much I'm going to miss home during the holidays this year. No Halloween party with our best friends, no stuffing our faces and passing out on the couch at my parents house for Thanksgiving, and no Christmas shopping, baking or present exchanging with family and friends. Sure, we will do some holiday stuff with our friends here but it just won't be the same as being in the US of A.
All these thoughts of home have made for quite the nostalgic week. The last few years have had their fair share of rough patches and for a long time that was what I focused on the most when looking back. But that isn't what I want to dwell on anymore. I want to remember the good things and focus on the happy memories I have. Many people have hurt me in the last couple years and a few friendships I thought would last have ended and there have been situations that have seemed completely unfair. I am in no way claiming that I made no mistakes and wasn't partly responsible for some of these events but a lot of things were simply out of my control and it really sucked at times. I have let all this negative junk that has happened really build up and take a hold of me and make me bitter.
Now that I've had some relative calm for the past couple of months I've realized it's time for me to let it all go. There's no sense holding onto the past and holding grudges when the only person it's hurting is me. I don't understand it all and I still have a lot of questions about life, but I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and so that's what I'm choosing to think about everyday from now on.
China is teaching me a lot about myself and is giving me the space I need to figure out who I am and who I want to become without any pressure, judgement, or guilt. I am very happy with where I am in life and can't imagine myself anywhere else. While I miss family and friends huge amounts, especially with the holiday season fast approaching, I am on the adventure of a lifetime and I can't wait to see where it take me.
All these thoughts of home have made for quite the nostalgic week. The last few years have had their fair share of rough patches and for a long time that was what I focused on the most when looking back. But that isn't what I want to dwell on anymore. I want to remember the good things and focus on the happy memories I have. Many people have hurt me in the last couple years and a few friendships I thought would last have ended and there have been situations that have seemed completely unfair. I am in no way claiming that I made no mistakes and wasn't partly responsible for some of these events but a lot of things were simply out of my control and it really sucked at times. I have let all this negative junk that has happened really build up and take a hold of me and make me bitter.
Now that I've had some relative calm for the past couple of months I've realized it's time for me to let it all go. There's no sense holding onto the past and holding grudges when the only person it's hurting is me. I don't understand it all and I still have a lot of questions about life, but I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and so that's what I'm choosing to think about everyday from now on.
China is teaching me a lot about myself and is giving me the space I need to figure out who I am and who I want to become without any pressure, judgement, or guilt. I am very happy with where I am in life and can't imagine myself anywhere else. While I miss family and friends huge amounts, especially with the holiday season fast approaching, I am on the adventure of a lifetime and I can't wait to see where it take me.
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